From An Enneagram 8
BY SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR IN TRAINING, CAMMIE WILSON
A mentor once told me, “Others may argue with your theology, but they can’t argue with your experience.” This powerful statement often reminds me to never discount my story or experiences; to stand confident in recognizing the thread of God throughout my life; & to fully acknowledge this thread as I encounter Him through conversations, relationships, events, emotions, difficulties, new concepts, & opportunities.
With this in mind, I would be amiss if I didn’t include as a part of my thread the discovery of the Enneagram – a most relevant tool that not only enables & positions me to experience growth, healing, & restoration on a continually basis, but enables me to help others on their own journey to greater intimacy & transformation.
Recently, my husband showed me a Facebook post declaring, “You are not an Enneagram number!” My response was somewhere between laughter & sadness, as this invalidation was void of so much understanding.
As a seeker of truth, pastor’s wife, pastor, master Christian coach, & spiritual-director-in-training, I have found that a most profound part of our journey to health & wholeness, not to mention greater intimacy in Christ, is found in discovering at a deeper level our true Christ-in-me-selves – the core of our very beings where we deeply embody the intimate truth that we are deeply loved by God – regardless of our accomplishments, strengths, failures, & personalities. It is when this profound discovery is made, that we genuinely experience our Abba Father’s lavish compassion, acceptance, & mercy – true freedom. The Enneagram can actually enable us to shed that which has kept us from seeing ourselves clearly, empowering us to walk in this freedom Christ provides.
I first became acquainted with the Enneagram, this odd-looking circle, encompassing a strange star-like object, approximately 5 years ago while in a session with my spiritual director. She described it as a very relevant & powerful tool that could enhance my passion to live an honest & authentic life. The more I learned about it, the deeper I dove, devouring books & podcasts, attending seminars, & seeking out deep & meaningful conversations with those who possessed more understanding than I possessed myself.
It just made so much sense! The Enneagram brought understanding to why we do what we do, what stalls us out, holds us up, & gets in our way. It didn’t take me very long to figure out I was an 8 or “The Boss,” a title that feels both empowering & daunting at the same time, as memories of being told from an early age, “You’re so bossy!” still provoked both a smile & a sting. My eyes were opened to the fact that my life-long avoidance with vulnerability wasn’t beneficial; others didn’t think like me; it actually wasn’t my responsibility to bring energy to each & every situation; & there was indeed a great deal of gray in the world, as everything wasn’t as black & white as I had previously believed. Instead of bringing condemnation, I actually began to experience greater freedom! And learning that my extreme bluntness wasn’t seen by others as a coveted spiritual gift…that was a shocker!
But one of the most valuable gifts the Enneagram gave me was learning how to bridge disconnects with those I love most. I grew to more so appreciate what my peaceful, easy-going “9” husband brought into our relationship, as he helped me slow down. My emotional, creative, extremely deep oldest “4” son? I could now see his ability to sit with others in their own darkness as a true God gift. And finally, my loyal “6” younger son’s ability to worst-case-scenario plan was no longer seen as meaningless worry, but a gift to be utilized each & every day, from which I had much to learn. As I learned more about our different personalities & motivations, stances, orientations to time, & centers of intelligence – the disconnects we once struggled with seemed to fade into the background, making way for greater forgiveness, understanding, & connection. Suddenly my relationships no longer resembled a piece of notebook paper, flat with lines & limits, but a colorful, textured, full-of-depth, & nuanced piece of art, unique in its fluidity & expression.
My desire to learn more led me to research the best place to engage within a more formal context, ultimately finding PAX & its certification program led by Doug & Adele Calhoun. The Calhoun’s interactive, participatory style, accompanied by their vast Enneagram knowledge & wisdom, taught me how to implement deeper truths not only in my own life, but with those I accompanied on their own spiritual journeys. I was also given the opportunity to practice & implement this knowledge with other like-minded individuals within the cohort. These new relationships perfectly illustrated the diversity of God’s creation & beauty. For all of this & more, I am extraordinarily grateful to PAX & the Calhouns. The PAX Enneagram Certification program has made a monumental difference in my coaching & spiritual direction practice.
Today, when asked what the Enneagram is & why it matters, I most often respond that it’s a most amazing tool that enables us to grow in self-awareness; increases our ability to & love God, ourselves, & others well; & empowers us to extend empathy, compassion & grace to others, helping us move towards being who God created us to be – His unhindered loved, valued, & accepted children, free from the bondages that so easily entangle us.
If you are considering PAX’s Enneagram Course led by the Calhouns, please allow this bold, sometimes a-bit-too aggressive & blunt 8 to say, “Look no further! You don’t want to miss out on all that awaits!” Thank you Rama, Doug, Adele, & the PAX team for giving me the opportunity to grow, change, & learn. You’ve made a huge difference in my life.
Are you a pastor, spiritual director, counselor, or life coach involved in one on one soul care? The Enneagram is a beautiful pathway to creating spaces of care for those you see. Learn more about our one of a kind certificate program designed specifically for you.