Walking…A Day At A Time
LESSONS FROM WALKING FROM THE DESK OF RAMA ZIEGENHALS
Something I do almost every day, no matter the weather, is go for a walk. Walking, for me, is not only a form of exercise, but a way to recharge & spend time with God. A few years ago, my husband & I went on our first walking pilgrimage in Europe…& we were hooked! This past month we were finally able to return for another one & completed the 100-mile journey through the Cotswolds, a region in central-southwest England known for its outstanding natural beauty. It is the third largest protected landscape in England covering 787 square miles. And it was indeed beautiful! We walked for ten days anywhere from 8 to 13 miles per day.
Going on these walking pilgrimages is something we thoroughly enjoy. We love being outside in nature, enjoying the fresh air & exercise, meeting people & hearing their stories, eating good food, & living off-line. Through it all, I heard God’s gentle voice helping me to process the year & tune in to how He has been present with me.
While on these walks, the trail takes you through many pastures alongside grazing animals…& while that may sound idyllic, cows & horses can be intimidating. Now, I grew up on a farm in Maryland & so my husband likes to tease me saying, “I thought you were a farm girl!?” And I reply, “yes, & the animals were big & intimidating then too!” I have a healthy sense of fear & respect for farm animals.
The path for the Cotswold Way is marked out for you like a hiking trail, & so we are careful to pay attention & not miss the markers. When you come to a marker that points to the path in the next field & it just so happens that a herd of cows are grazing in the middle of the path, it is a moment of pausing & searching for a different way!
I wonder how often this happens in my spiritual life. God has marked out my path & I am confident of His guidance & yet… “Lord, there is something in the path that feels intimidating & scary. Is there another way, or another path that will get me to the same place?” In the case of the cows, I chose to brave brambles & nettles & prickers coming out on the other side with scratches & burning, itching skin. But I avoided those cows! I wonder if God was whispering, “Rama, the cows would have been a whole lot easier.” How many times are we on the path marked out for us by God & then get scared or intimidated by something standing in the way? How many wounds & scars & scratches do we add to our journey trying to protect ourselves, & not trust in God’s presence & protection? We had a few more large animal moments (not to mention the sign saying “bull in field”), but we made our way safely without any injuries &, for the most part, stayed on the path marked for us.
The morning of our fourth day, I injured my hip. The rest of the day I limped along wondering if I would be able to continue. Long into the night I prayed that I would be able to finish the walk. It appeared that I had what is called a hip flexor strain & I could walk, but I could not flex meaning I simply pulled my leg forward on each step. I walked a day at a time not knowing if it would get worse or better, & I experienced mixed emotions. My first & overwhelming emotion was one of gratitude that I could keep walking! Secondly, a bit of sadness as I missed being able to feel the freedom & stride that came with my love for walking.
Somewhere in there, I realized that I had probably been walking with a “limp” this whole past year. It was a long year of transitioning my Mother from independent living into a retirement community. It was a year of hospital stays & surgeries, selling her home of over 40 years, & seeking an affordable retirement community that ticked all of the boxes. Plans were made & remade as clarity came through waiting. I truly learned to go a day at a time not knowing if the situation would get better or worse with my Mother. But I could walk even though it was with a heavy limp of exhaustion & times of feeling overwhelmed. I am so grateful to have been able to finish that walk with her to see her happily at home in a new community. And, although not ideal, it is ok to walk with a limp; God is good & His grace is sufficient. But here is the bigger surprise/lesson. After my injury, we met some doctors & began walking with them. As I described my symptoms, one said that walking would actually help it to heal! There is healing in the walking…a day at a time.
The last lesson I will share with you is around the people we meet on these walks. As I mentioned above, we met two couples & of the four, three of them knew each other from medical school & were English, the fourth was Belgian. They were delightful. Each day we were excited when we found each other on the trail &/or shared a meal together. And this is how it goes i.e. some of us walk faster or slower & at times we will walk at our own pace, while at other times we try to stay together & find a mutually comfortable pace. What was reinforced for me is that it is good to respect our unique ways of walking & pace on the path. But it is also good to adjust our pace & learn to walk together.
It was in these times that I was able to hear about their life stories & to share mine. Whether American, English or Belgian, we discover our connectedness as human beings; we discover & share in some of the same joys & sorrows in life. A mutuality & bonding develops that is genuine & precious as we walk together. At the end of this walk, we visited with friends in England we made on a similar walk five years ago. Again, there was a sharing of where we were in life & stories to catch up on. We shared with a sense of vulnerability & intimacy. My lesson was a reminder that it is good & ok to find our stride & go at our pace; but it is also good & necessary to adjust our pace & not miss out on walking with others. Here is where we find the relational companionship of compassion, kindness, wisdom, vulnerability & intimacy that brings joy in life.
This coming year I want to pay attention to adjusting my pace. I don’t want to miss out on the grace of the companionship I need as I walk with a limp, & the obstacles that confront me on the way marked for me. The years are short & the gift of life is found in our love for one another. My husband had a liturgy that he would recite for us at the beginning of each day of walking. It ended with, “…in the midst of the cares & occupation of this world, may we not forget you [God], but may remember that we are ever walking in your sight.” God sees you, loves you, & walks with you in this life as we make our way on the path God has set out for us.